Funseekas.com - The Akokites' Latest Review

Akokite here. I write it like I feel it. My thoughts, my blog... Have a bone to pick with me? Make it worth my while.

Funseekas.com... You checked it out the last time. Do so again. First impression? I'll tell you mine. There's been a huge amount of improvement on the site. The main content is right on my screen. I didn't scroll right until I wanted to see the rest, and basically, the sidebar is on the right. First impression? Good! Great work, funseekas!

Now, I did complain about the organisation on the site. It's improved considerably. Picture, video organisation has become orderly and appealing. I commend the improvement!

While I didn't find your black-and-orange combination really attractive and eye-catching, I must say it works pretty well. Legibility 90%. Once again, you've handled criticism well and made something great out of it.

I noticed you've got Google Adsense on the site. Your custom search engine should be in my face, not hidden by the side. 

I also saw the banner - 'meet new peeps on chat.funseekas.com'. I feel it should be interactive. Make it 'clickable' - a link to take me to chat.funseekas.com


Well now, I certainly am going to enjoy visiting your site. Still room for improvement (colour combination doesn't catch my eye, Google Adsense custom search placement, making banner a link, ...), but for the changes already made, I say kudos! More ideas to your head (you don't really need grease right now).

Lagbook.com - The Akokite's Latest Review

The Akokite here! Keeping you on top of your game.

When I see progress, my heart leaps with joy. It did a triple-flip when I saw lagbook.com today. Why don't you check it out? You must agree that their homepage looks a lot better than it did on my last review. Thumbs up, Lagbook! You had a minute to impress me, you did in 5 seconds!

I also noticed Lagbook's switched from 'ning.com' to 'grou.ps'. Nice move!

I couldn't resist signing in to the site to check out other improvements. It was a bit of a problem logging in. When I eventually succeeded, though might be me, the site was slow in loading. No biggie, I was too happy to be irked! Luckily, though, the loading didn't exceed 4 minutes.

I must confess, upon logging in, I literally exclaimed, "Wow, someone's done his homework (well, part of it)." My profile page wasn't clustered with annoying toolbars and everything was arranged. I once complained about the ease-of-use of the site. Well, it's become user-friendly - almost as easy to use as Facebook. Once again, well done, Lagbook!

Now, why did you have to cut the page? I scrolled and noticed that the right part of my profile page moves with my mouse, but the left part sorta crawls after us. Well, still too happy to be annoyed, but that needs work. You've got homework, son!

Despite the slight problem above, I must say I am impressed. Now, I certainly will give Lagbook 30 minutes of my Facebook time.

Like I said, it's personal. Lagbook's done a better job, and they've gotten a better review. I hope for even greater improvements. Way to go, Lagbook!

UNILAG Hour of Laughter Vol. 3

UNILAG Hour of Laughter 3
Jokes to crack your ribs. Have fun!

What if Sept 11 was in Nigeria.....
A political aspirant was asked the question during one of those debates,

QUIZ: After the tragedy in New York and Washington September 11, the question arises:
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF NIGERIA IS ATTACKED?

ANSWER:Well ... if that happens, there can be no comparison. That's because in Nigeria we are much better prepared for these kind of attacks, given the following reasons:

1. We do not construct exaggerated elevated buildings.
2. We all get on the job late in the morning, so at 8.45am there won't be sufficient people to kill.
3. Fire fighters and police officers will do their utmost not to get to the spot in time. They will reach there just when everything is over, so there will be no casualties among them.
4. The Nigeria airways would surely have fouled up the terrorists' plans by being delayed again, and of course losing the luggage - containing the bombs.
5. A Nigerian would not have used his cell phone to call home. He would've hit the terrorist with it over the head.
6. If a terrorist was living for one year in Nigeria (Oshodi), he would've been robbed and molested so many times he would've given up and gone back home long time ago.
7. In Nigeria the terrorists would not have gotten the flight manual, they would've had to pay for it.
8. In Nigeria juju would make all the passengers disappear before the thing hit Mushin or Ajegunle.
9. Osama would be so confused with who is really in power

You see...in Nigeria we are well prepared.


A FIRST- GRADE TEACHER

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (aged 28) was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Boy what is your problem?”

Boy answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the Principal’s office.The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3×3?”
Boy: “9″

Principal: “What is 6×6?”
Boy: “36″

And so it went with every question the Principal thought a third-grade should know. The Principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think this boy can go to the third-grade.”

Ms Neelam says to the Principal, “I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?” The Principal and boy both agree.

Ms Neelam asks: “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment: “Legs”!

Ms Neelam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
Boy: “Pockets”!

Ms Neelam: “What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?”
Boy: Coconut

Ms Neelam: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?” The Principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?” The Principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…
Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: “Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?”
Boy: “Yep”

Ms Neelam: “You stick! Your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.. I get wet before you do.”
Boy: “Tent”

Ms Neelam: “A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.”

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: “Wedding Ring”

Ms Neelam: “I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.”
Boy: “Nose”

Ms Neelam: “I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.”
Boy: “Arrow”

Ms Neelam: “What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?”
Boy: “Firetruck”

Ms Neelam: “What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get it u have to use your hand”
Boy: “Fork”

Ms Neelam: “What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?”
Boy: “SURNAME”

Ms Neelam: “What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?”
Boy: “HEART”

The Principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, “Send this Boy to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”

UNILAG Hour of Laughter Vol. 2

UNILAG HOUR OF LAUGHER 2
Jokes to crack your ribs. Have fun!

Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and much cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

Small Town Witness
A Southern small-town prosecutor called his first witness, a respectful, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. Quickly jumping in, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your asses in jail for contempt."

Dumb Nigerian Questions and Their Answers
1. When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask:
- Are you sleeping?
- What’s your answer?
- No! I’m training to die
2. Imagine when you take an electronic equipment to a technician to get it fixed and he still asks you:
- need to be fixed?
- No, it got bored of staying home alone so I brought it over for a ride.

3. When it’s raining and someone notices you going out, they ask:
- Are you going out inside this rain?
- No, in the next one.

4. When you wake up, then comes an idiot asking you:
- Are you Awake?
- No. Going back to bed!

5. Your friend calls your home:
- Where are you?
- At news café! I brought my House over!

6. They see you wet coming from the bathroom:
- Did you take your bath?
- No, I swam in the bath!

7. You are standing right in front of the elevator from the ground floor and they ask:
- Going up?
- No, no, I am waiting for my apartment to come get me.
8. Your boyfriend comes to your house with a bunch of flowers. And you still ask him:
- Flowers?
- No baby! Carrots.

9. You’re in the toilet when someone knocks on the door asking:
- Is anyone in there?
- No! The shit is talking to you!

10. You head straight to bank with a cheque ready to get money:
-Then the lady asks you, in cash?
- No, in clips and plastics!

UNILAG Hour of Laughter Vol. 1

UNILAG HOUR OF LAUGHTER
Jokes to crack your ribs. Have fun!

Girlfriend's Father
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."


Johnny Learns Politics
Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Dealing With Phone Theft

Happy weekend, all! It's yours truly, The Akokite. It's been fun reading the posts made by others on our ThoughtPlanet. It's a pity that I won't see the blog through a 340x240 resolution screen. Yup! I lost my phone some days ago. My very first time of losing something so valuable, you know. It hurt a lot.

How did it happen? Well, on a Thursday night, a long lost friend contacted me and insisted that we have a chat through the night to catch up. It felt good to hear from her after such a long while. Well, we ended the chat around 4 am the next day. The moment it was over, I staggered sleepily to my room (I don't do night calls in my room), flopped onto the bed, covered my 'eru' and me, and slept off. I woke up around 6 pm to find my roommates in a not-so-good mood. The first thing I did was to reach for my 'teddy bear'. Helas! It was nowhere to be found. It was then that I learnt that more than 2 phones had been stolen from our room that morning. It turned out that my phone was among the kidnapped techies.

You know how, when something bad happens, we tend to be optimistic and try to convince ourselves that we can turn it around? With the belief and, er, resolution that my phone would not go like that, I, instead of joining my roommates and friends who were sharing stories about similar occurrences, I sped up to the cybercafe and Googled 'retrieve lost phones'.

My efforts yielded fruit. I read that my phone could be blocked, were I to give my service provider my IMEI Number. 'Oh! What glorious news'.

In all my excitement, I forgot that I was in Nigeria. My trip to MTN proved useless. They shamelessly told me that they could not help me block my phone! Same with Zain (they advised me to go to a Nokia Shop in Ikeja for that).

Well, it's been more than 5 days and I've reached the conclusion that my phone is gone and there is nothing I can do about it. I just retrieved my number today. I guess all I have to offer is, "If you lose your phone, share the pain with your friends and forget it". There's nothing else we can do, at least for now. This article, 'Dealing with Phone Theft', isn't really to offer you info on how to deal with phone theft, it's actually me looking for friends to share their similar past experiences with me. Sharing might make us feel better. God knows everything else I tried failed.

Hey, just in case you've got any suggestions as to how I can retrieve my phone or block it (I'm feeling rather ungenerous towards the phone thief), do let us know. Now, anymore thoughts about my phone will make me be in the mood for wickedness. I'm a Christian and I don't want that. The Akokite Out!

Akokites' ThoughtPlanet Pays

Hey, Akokites! I said I'd let you know when I confirm that the deal is real. Well, I made 3000 naira this week from just my write-ups. I'll be paid at the end of the month. Just keeping you posted!

What's more, the deal's becoming better. Akokites' ThoughtPlanet now offers $2 for each 'verified' article a contributor puts up! If I get 20 verified articles in a month, I earn twice the amount, that's a whooping $80. My earning no longer depends on if my article features as best article for the week or not! Now is that good news or what?!

Brain Conflict

Love

Hey, akokites. Just my random thoughts concerning 'the feeling that you feel when you feel a feeling that you have never felt before' - love.

Love is heart deep. When you love someone, you love the sparkle in their eyes when they are happy or mad, you love EVERYTHING about them, the whole package (things you wouldn't give the light of day if you just liked them). Despite their worst characters, you can look them in the eye, and truly say, 'I LOVE YOU'). There'll always be someone prettier, smarter, even more compatible, but there's just one in whom you can find that one true love.

To the Loved
Make no mistake - love requires investment of energy, time. Love requires work and sacrifice. Love does not turn a blind eye to evil, it tries to improve, correct. It is out of love that a parent chastises his/her child. It is one who is loved that is pushed to improve, to be the best he/she can be. It is both a weakness and strength. He who loves is vulnerable to the one he loves. Can't do with it, you most certainly can't do without it.

Buying a good laptop

Have you ever wanted to buy a laptop and you just could not decide which brand, model, type, or size to get.

Here are a few tips to help you

1. Flow with the big names

By this I mean that it is more advisable to go with the big names who have been around for quite sometime and their continuity is almost certain. To avoid a situation where you buy a product today and tomorrow the company packs up, leaving you with no where to run to in case anything comes up.

2. PURPOSE OF BUYING THE SYSTEM

A second factor to consider is why you want to purchase the system or let me say what functions it will mostly serve.

The business type

If you are the business type working mostly on documents on the go, then a sturdy well secured notebook will do the trick for safety and security on the go LENOVO’s THINK PAD or DELL’s LATILUDE will go along way. 2 to 4GB of RAM, 160 GB hard disk drive, 12 to 15 inch display,windows vista or windows seven professional, and a mobile broadband modem will surely help.

The student

Low price and portability come in first, low-power notebooks are basically cheaper though these always come with small screens.

A second option is the 13 inch thin and light notebook, though less portable, it's pleasurable to use when writing papers or doing research. At least 2GB memory,160 GB Hard disk drive, 13 inch display, Dualcore CPUs, optical drives will go a long way.

1. Graphic designs

Powerful processors, discrete graphics, fast harddrives come into play here. A 17 or 15 inch screen with high resolution is a good suggestion, Plenty of RAM up to 8GB, with a 500 GB hard disk drive will never disappoint you.

The home user

The 15 inch laptop with 2 to 4 GB RAM, 250GB HDD, and a DVD optical burning drive makes home experience lot more fun.

3. Wifi and webcam

A system with inbuilt wireless, webcam is less cumbersome since you do not need to go along with wires and attachments for the individual devices.

4. USB port

Two USB ports for your system will be better so you are able to connect more than one device to your system.

5. Market survey

Finally a brief market survey helps to reduce disappointments by bringing you close to the variety of brands to choose from making you more conversant with the available products.

GOODLUCK.

Earning Money on "Akokites' ThoughtPlanet"

Two days ago, I got news of the possibility of making 2000 Naira or more weekly. Believe me, I was skeptic at first. I've been looking for ways to make money online - from paid mails, paid surveys, you name them... Might be my luck, but none of them were genuine or others required a Paypal account (and Paypal isn't for people in Nigeria).

The first thing that caught my attention was the Naira - opportunity to earn in my currency (no hectic transactions, you know). I just had to inquire and learn more about this 'opportunity'. I share my findings with you:

'Akokites' ThoughtPlanet' is a blog made by a UNILAG student (who calls himself 'The Akokite'). I learnt that the original plan was for it to be a diary where this student would post his experiences and knowledge for the benefit of UNILAG students. Luckily, he did some more thinking and decided to let akokites get, not just knowlegde and fun, but money too.

How do we make that money? When the word spreads about the blog and the earning opportunities, you have to agree with me that he will pull considerable traffic to his blog (most of us know that online traffic can be translated to money). His way of getting us interested is by giving us, not just an avenue to learn and enjoy the thoughts of others, but another to earn money weekly.

I just had to ask how I earn the money. The explanation was rather simple - blogs need content, he pays you weekly to share your on-campus experiences with others on 'Thoughts of the Akokite'. Does that mean that as long as I write, anything, I get paid 2k every week. I got a solid 'no!'. Here's what piqued my fascination - it's a weekly competition. The author to get the most comments in a week earns the 2000 Naira. So, all I have to do is write something interesting and of worth and when I get the most comments, I get my money.

How do I become an author? That's the slightly 'not-simple' part. I mailed "Interested" to theakokite@yahoo.com and the next day, I got an invitation to become an author. I clicked on the link, and was led to a 'sign in' page. Unfortunately, I didn't have a Google account, so I clicked 'sign up' on the same page. I still used my yahoo email address as my username, entered my password, filled Date of Birth and country, then ... I was asked to give my phone number for them to send a voice automated call to me to confirm my, ah, mortality. I filled in my name, got a call telling me my verification code, entered it and I was done.

All I have to do to start earning my money is visit 'http://akokite.blogspot.com', sign in, put up my new post, and sit back and wait to be the most commented article for the week!

Still a bit unbelieving and reluctant? Need a witness before you start? This is my first article on the blog. If I earn the cash for the week (if mine turns out to be the most useful), I'll let you know if this is real or not! So sit back, relax. I'll tell you in 5 days, alright?

Making Money the Akokite Way

Money... That's the watchword, password, whatever. We need a lot of it in school, you'll agree. By heaven, I keep needing more of it each week. So many things to spend money on - friends, girls, churches, clothes, shoes, accessories like phones, ipods etc. 

Incidentally, needing and having are two different states, you see. I guess we all are in the first state. How do we cross over to the second state? Shall I start by saying, painful but the truth, not all of us will make it on campus. In UNILAG, I hear there are 30, 000 students. Out of this population, some innovative, business minds brought up ideas to give some services to the community & incidentally make some money in the process - lagbook.ning.com, funseekas.com, nigeriandream.webs.com, abetternigeria.webs.com, unilag.blogspot.com... You wouldn't be wrong if you added my blog to the list too. Heh!

Everybody is thinking of how to make money, but you'll find that those who actually make it are those who think of sorting out a problem. Now, you need to think out of the box. Get that selfish brain to start thinking about other people. Online businesses aren't the only way to make money, but they sure are straightforward if you find the right service and link it to the right target market. Lagbook found it and called it social networking for UNILAG students, funseekas found it and gave a site for people to publish events (past, present or future) on the site, I'm feeding your hunger for info and gossip, among other things... What you need to do is to find the service you can render to Akokites. Don't worry yet about monetizing it, that'll come later. What do we hunger for? What do Akokites want? What can you offer?

If you aren't ready for all this thinking, but still want to make some money online, your opportunities for earning the big bucks would be radically reduced, but you would earn money all the same. You could become a co-author on http://akokite.blogspot.com... All you need to do is send "Interested" to theakokite@yahoo.com and ask to be made co-author. You can't copy posts from others sites. Your uploads must be your thoughts.

You could offer to spread the word and pull in traffic to some sites. Simply, inviting your friends, whichever signs up, you are paid an amount depending on the traffic you pull and your contract with your employer.

However, if you are ready to think, follow http://akokite.blogspot.com, comment on this blog showing your interest and you will receive a newsletter on how to earn on the Internet.

Lagbook.com - My Review

Akokite here. Check out my latest review on lagbook.com.  Lagbook.com ... Have you checked out t\hat site? Stop reading now, and check out the site. 

Welcome back to sanity, my sibling! The first time I heard that name, the lack of originality struck me as odd. I asked some friends and, surprisingly, they were of the opinion that the name had 'swag'. Swag? Interesting!

Next thing I did was visit the site. I'm a professional when it comes to free website hosting - I know a lot of them. I happen to also know what site is worth my time and which is not. When I got to the homepage of Lagbook.com, their logo and colour looked awfully like that of Facebook. The aim of the site is to connect UNILAG students and give them a way to share their experiences on campus. I have nothing against 'going specific', but if you want to poach on Facebook's territory, you will have to be different, offer something unique. Strike 1 - Bad impression. With your website, you have just 1 minute to make a user want to stay or not. I became disinterested in less than 20 seconds. Bad start, Lagbook!

For your sake, I signed up. Next thing I was greeted with was the recognisable 'ning.com' site template. Wow! He even got virtualnaija.com to design the site for him. The chat toolbar was overcrowded. I found the site very difficult to use. Dummy? That's the point! If you want a site like Facebook, though specific, it has to be at least as easy to use as Facebook. Strike 2 - Not userfriendly. When designing a site, you design for the market, not for yourself. You tailor your dreams to meet the market, and you take into consideration the competition. 

After noticing these things, I couldn't for the life of me fathom why everyone was joining. That was when it became clear. This is Akokite's take: we want a site for UNILAG students, and since Lagbook is the only one, we will endure its many inconveniences. Not me! I'm not taking 30 minutes out of my Facebook time for Lagbook, until they give me a reason to. Every single person on Lagbook is surely on Facebook and I don't see how I can connect better with Lagbook than Facebook.

It's personal. Lagbook gets better, I give a better review. I want it to be better. The idea behind it is sweet. Work needs to be done, Lagbook!

Next take - funseekas.com (my review)...

Smart Phones - An Overview

Akokite here. Your friendly online neighbour, willing to help you with your choices.

You’ve probably heard the term ‘smart phone’ a lot and have wondered what it is exactly. How is a smart phone different from a cell phone? A smart phone is a mobile phone with extra features which that you find on a PDA (personal digital assistant) or computer – such as the ability to send and receive e-mail, create and edit Microsoft Office documents, get directional instructions via GPS system. etc.

Thus, you can find tons of games, GPA systems, weather reporting programs, tv programs and even the entire Microsoft office suite on these devices – each accessible not at the click of a mouse, but at a few presses of a free thumb. Some of the popular brand names include: Blackberry, iPhone, Palm Pre, HTC Touch, Palmsource, Nokia and Windows CE. One of the most common external features of smart phones is the QWERTY keyboard. This could be hardware (physical keys) or software (on a touch screen like you’ll find on the iPhone).

Why should smart phones appeal to you? At best, smart phones give us the opportunity to express ourselves impromptu with entertaining results. Smart phones enable us to do things which would prove cumbersome if attempted with a bulky desktop computer or laptop. Even some of the smallest peripherals (digicams, iPods, mp4 players, etc) don’t give us the same opportunities that smart phones do. Simply put, a smart phone may pass for a computer, camera, iPod, television and telephone in one. 

Being able to carry around a device for communication, creation, recording, and editing simply compliments the need for today’s generation to do more and do it faster. To read more on Smart phones, check www.en.wikipedia.org

Most of these smart phones, however, are too costly for the average Akokite. There are cheaper, comparatively able phones such as Nokia E63 (around N28, 000), Nokia N70, Nokia N71. For information on features of these phones, see www.gsmarena.com

Next stop, should you get Blackberry or Nokia smartphone? Meet me next week for that.

Get A Good Phone

Akokite here. Welcome, fans! I know a lot about phones. What's more, I want you to get a good phone so you'll follow my blog. Selfishness? I say practicality. I scratch your back, you scratch mine.

I have used three Nokia phones, one Samsung and four Sony Ericsson phones, two from the Kseries, one from Cseries and the other from Wseries and I’ve decided to ditch Sony Ericsson and go with Nokia because the last phone is a buy I regret (its antennae was not made for Nigerian networks). I would hate for anyone to make the same mistake I made. Moreover, it isn’t everyday we get to buy a new phone, and we hope to use a phone for at least 2 or 3 years before looking for a new one. We would want to choose the right 3-year companion, hence this blog.
About the most the average Akokite is willing to invest in a phone is between N30, 000. This is a lot of money so you will want to be extra careful and well informed before making a choice.

What are the things you want in your phone? You may send your personal requirements to me and I will help in gathering information to narrow your choice. However, these are the general things to consider:

Application formats: Here, we will take applications to mean both phone utilities and games. Ideally, when talking about application formats, Java and Symbian applications are the most popular; most useful applications are created in these formats, the majority in Symbian. It would be better to pick a phone that supports both Java and Symbian (I would recommend Nokia because a good number of Nokia phones support both). Sony Ericsson phones that support both Java and Symbian applications might be well over N30, 000. Moreover, feel free to tell us if it is different in your state, but in Enugu, Sony Ericsson phones are rather scarce. You will want to stay clear of Samsung phones within the range of N20, 000 and N35, 000. Most Samsung users I know (and I do know a lot of them) have complained of problems with installing the applications they want.
Battery life: For phones within that price range, Nokia phones have the longest battery life.

Camera: With N20, 000 to N30, 000, you should vie for a phone with at least 2 mega pixels. Sony Ericsson Cybershot series are the winners when you compare camera and video quality of phones within that price range. If you are getting a phone for mainly this purpose, choose from SE Cybershot series; otherwise, get a Nokia with at least 2 mega pixels camera.

Durability: Nokia phones are known for their durability. 

Memory card slot: If you buy a phone with no external memory slot, there will be no way to increase memory, so you will be limited to the phone memory. In other words, you will want to buy a phone with external memory capacity. 

Music and video: Playing of music and videos is one use that most people put their phone to. Nokia phones normally have wider choices of video and music formats than Sony Ericsson phones. Once again, Nokia would be the right choice, not to mention that they also normally have louder speakers than Sony Ericsson phones. 

Phone Antennae: You will also have to check that the phone has at least 900/1800 MHz spectrum antennae because these frequency bands are what Nigerian networks operate on. The frequency band of phones can normally be found on the phone packet or manual. A phone without at least one of these frequencies listed above will be useless to you in Nigeria and can only serve Nigerians as mp4 players and gaming systems (totally defeating the purpose of buying a phone). On this note, if you love SE phones, you will want to avoid SE k810i and get SE k800i instead (SE k810i has got antennae problems, and there isn’t any significant difference between SE k800i and SE k810i. 

With this info, you are on your way to getting a good phone. To compare phone features and read reviews made by phone owners (you will want to read the reviews to be aware of the possible problems the phone might have and how to avoid them), check out these sites: www.gsmarena.com, www.asia.cnet.com

Next stop, securing your phone from that rogue. Meet me next week for that. Holla!

Virginity - Ask Me

Ahhh... virginity! Believe me, we Akokite swaglords, talk about this, at least, once a week. Our discussions broach less and less the importance (or lack thereof) of a girl being a virgin. For the sake of formality, I shall talk just about the virginity of girls. Call it chauvinism, stereotyping, whatever you want... It's my blog, my thoughts; If you want an opinion unaffected by personal experiences or bias, go speak with a doctor.

Let me start with saying that I once thought strongly about virginity. I upheld that it would be a quality a girl would have before I would even consider marrying her. I couldn't bear the thought of sharing that treasure with anyone, pre- or post-marriage. 

During the time of our fathers, actors were modest, there were less sex scenes than there are now. Rather 'old-fashioned' morals were still existent. When I was 16, I discriminated against girls whom I suspected had given their cherry to guys. I just could not get why they would not wait to give it to the 'right guy'.

Selfishness, you think? Yeah, no one wants to share such sweet things with others. I still stick with not sharing;

Now that I and my fellow poor akokites are being bombarded with sexually explicit scenes, be it in Beyonce's music, Shakira's oh-so-sweet-and-sincere hips or in the movies, my opinion of the importance of virginity is changing somewhat.

On campus, I get to see different colours, shapes and sizes of jugs on a daily basis, thanks to less-than-modest UNILAG babes. I admire these, ahem, goods. What?! I'm your regular guy! Let's define sex. Americans tell us it's just one other benefit of being in a relationship with girls. In Nigerians, some agree with the Americans, others say it is meant for your marital counterpart and your marital counterpart alone. Where does the Akokite belong? Last year, I held the latter opinion. As I speak with you though, I'm thinking sex is special. It takes relationships to great heights. What relationships deserve this?

Losing your virginity or keeping it is your choice, girl. I won't think any differently of you, whether you are a virgin or not. Um, ok, maybe I will, but my point is if you came here wanting to know if you should give over your virginity, I can only tell you this. Every week, a girl gives up her virginity and can't take it back. It's a big decision to make. It all eventually gets down to doing what you want (Yeah right! I know you want to give in and have it). No, it's about doing what will be beneficial to you in future.

A man who loves you will respect you and treasure you, virgin or not. I put it to you, then- it's your call to make. Is virginity lack of opportunity or is it a gift to 'the one for you'?

The Akokite, yours truly, opines that virginity is what you make of it. I like girls who are virgins, they are eligible to be my girlfriends. I find teasing, non-virgins interesting, they are there for fun.

Funseekas.com - Online Magazine

Akokite here. I say it like I feel it. Sometimes, like I see it. My blog, my thoughts... It's personal.

Check out my latest review on funseekas.com - online magazine

  
Funseekas.com... Sites need to have an aim, a purpose or they just won't make it. This one does have a purpose. Funseekas.com is an online magazine. It lets event organisers upload data (photo, videos) of their events online. This helps those who weren't there when things were happening, and it surely lets you relive the times. Before I start talking, check out the site. 

Done so? What was your first impression? I'll tell you mine. The thought behind the site is ingenuous; the template of the site did not impress me though. It looked like it needed 'page wrap' (it's what sites that do not fit screens need). When your site makes me scroll from left to right to see almost everything, you are trying my patience, and my time is valuable! Akokite doesn't waste time with less-than-good. Strike 1 - Bad first impression. You need site rework! 

If I organise an event, and I want to upload videos and pics of the event, I want them to be well organised. An online magazine needs to have its template, pic and video organization appealing. For The Akokite, funseekas.com lacks that.

Sites need legibility. Funseekas' combination of background colour and text colour isn't the best. I had to strain my eyes to read the text above funseekas.com on the top border and I could only read one word - applet. Strike 2 - Website designer needs homework. Now, let it not be said that Akokite is a sadist. To back that argument, let it be known that I feel their logo. As with Lagbook.com, funseekas.com is an interesting concept. I would that it was executed better. Contents have to fit within a computer screen to reduce scrolling from left to right; pics, videos and adverts need to be organised appealingly. Learn from naijapals.com... The site designer of Funseekas.com has homework to do. I hope they improve.

Next take - Planning a website